As human beings how we perceive things can be quite deceiving to many of us and to many it can create a false imagery or something much more than that. We generally are so quick to judge our perception on things. As I have learned
perception is selective and how you choose to look at it is a judgement. As individuals we are all seen as something by others, whether it is a label to a stereotype, this is how we are perceived. How people perceive me is some what quite interesting and a little frustrating at times. In many ways I am misunderstood due to people's perception, and for so many reasons. It is a given fact that many see me as much more than a human being, I have experienced reactions to every face of every kind. Many perceive me as intimidating, tough, dark, and emotionless; unfortunately they base this on my image alone. Yes I can be all these things, but there is so much more to me then meets the eye.
How I look has a lot to with how I am viewed by others, growing up the way I did has a lot to do with my image and I'm sure it speaks for it's self. There are only the few that actually get to know me for who I really am rather than the image and I will admit I don't let people in so easy, if your sincere about getting to know me you have to earn my friendship. You have to be able to fully get past the image and take into consideration of what that person has possibly been through. You have to be willing to be open to perceive things differently and possibly be able to explore the dark that comes with the light; you have to be willing to see both sides to everything. I don't always like reaction I get from people when they pass me by and it does bother me somewhat, but it's something I have to be willing to except to comfortable in my own skin. This is something that happens way to often, even when people can't put there thumb on it, they either freak out and turn the other way or stare like I'm some kind of freak! I can admit this something that I would expect and to be honest it is something that I have done intentionally to serve as security blanket. Yes intimidation can go along way, at least for someone like me. I think that my image says a lot to people when they generally look at me, why else would they stare?
The fact that I wear all black generally makes people uncomfortable, for only a few reasons. I'm either considered Gothic or a criminal, which is really hard to swallow because I'm neither. I can think back to when I was that little girl who usually wondered about the kids who were a lot scarier and wore all black, I will admit that I was intrigued but scared at the same time; I have become what I used to fear, I guess that is true for the many people who perceive me the way they do. It is a given fact that people are often scared of what they don't understand; and that is the truth. Wearing all black has become a big part of my life believe or not, it has given me my own identity and has allowed me to become who I am. This does serve a problem in the eye of the public because like I said before I am seen as Gothic or a criminal. Many people are usually scared to talk to me because of the black clothes; kind of ridiculous but what can you do?
My tattoos have given me a sense of my self and has allowed me to be okay with who I am, but I feel many people also judge me based on my tattoos. I guess in many ways my tattoos have spoken for them selves. I'm automatically labeled or stereotyped just for having ink embedded in to my skin. Of course this is expected from many people who don't like or have tattoos to begin with. Instead of being able to be comfortable in my own skin many people take that a way from me. It's really sad because I feel it is the only thing I have to be comfortable in my own my skin.
The fact that I wear all black generally makes people uncomfortable, for only a few reasons. I'm either considered Gothic or a criminal, which is really hard to swallow because I'm neither. I can think back to when I was that little girl who usually wondered about the kids who were a lot scarier and wore all black, I will admit that I was intrigued but scared at the same time; I have become what I used to fear, I guess that is true for the many people who perceive me the way they do. It is a given fact that people are often scared of what they don't understand; and that is the truth. Wearing all black has become a big part of my life believe or not, it has given me my own identity and has allowed me to become who I am. This does serve a problem in the eye of the public because like I said before I am seen as Gothic or a criminal. Many people are usually scared to talk to me because of the black clothes; kind of ridiculous but what can you do?
My tattoos have given me a sense of my self and has allowed me to be okay with who I am, but I feel many people also judge me based on my tattoos. I guess in many ways my tattoos have spoken for them selves. I'm automatically labeled or stereotyped just for having ink embedded in to my skin. Of course this is expected from many people who don't like or have tattoos to begin with. Instead of being able to be comfortable in my own skin many people take that a way from me. It's really sad because I feel it is the only thing I have to be comfortable in my own my skin.
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ReplyDeleteWhen the first time I saw you, I thought that you must be a really cool girl. Your thesis of this essay is people can’t judge a person just base on what she/he looks like. You took yourself for example to support your thesis. You used your clothing style for the first paragraph and the tattoos for the second paragraph to say that what a person has outside do not have to be matching this person’s inside world. My thought for your essay is if you can have one more thing to support the thesis for this essay, it will be better. It may give the readers a stronger feeling about your thesis. I totally agree with your points in your essay. I have had the experience that people misunderstood me. Sometimes people just judged you by what they think when they first saw you. Also I think that to understand a person needs time; those misunderstanding sometimes just can’t avoid.
ReplyDeleteAs human beings how we perceive things can be quite deceiving to many of us and to many it can create a false imagery or something much more than that. General
ReplyDeleteOur perceptions are not always good guides to reality.
We generally are so quick to judge our perception on things. General
We make snap decisions about people based upon what is readily visible.
As I have learned perception is selective and how you choose to look at it is a judgment. Gneneral
We can choose, however. It’s a matter of choice. Our judgement is within our control.
Michele, you should probably copy this stuff into a word doc to review. I look at it sentence by sentence. And then use Lauren's rubric at the end. Hope it helps!
As individuals we are all seen as something by others, whether it is a label to a stereotype, this is how we are perceived by others. General
Judgment by others is inescapable; whether it’s coming from strangers or from life-long friends, everybody has some opinion of us, both positive and negative. Stereotypes imply superficial relationships, people who don’t know us well, etc.
How people perceive me is somewhat quite interesting and a little frustrating at times. Michele’s experience
Michele’s personal experience with how people perceive her is interesting, and, frustrating (why)
In many ways I am misunderstood due to people's perception, and for so many reasons. Michele’s experience
What are the reasons that people mis understand Michele?
It is a given fact that many see me as much more than a human being, Michele’s experience
Not sure what this means…
I have experienced reactions to every face of every kind. Michele’s experience
Because of Michele’s very public exposure in retail, she encounters a whole lot of people who have a whole lot of different experiences of her.
Many perceive me as intimidating, tough, dark, and emotionless; unfortunately they base this on my image alone. Michele’s experience
A common perception is that Michele’s trappings (clothing, physical adornments, etc.) creates an image of somebody who is aloof, threatening, unapproachable, mysterious. These are the perceptions of people who know Michele the least.
Yes I can be all these things, but there is so much more to me thaen meets the eye. Michele’s experience
Michele has a well defined sense of self that is not limited to the trappings or exterior (Patrick’s comment, this is obvious from the incisive writing that you can do, and from your really open and friendly nature when we speak).
So: in summary, Paragraph 1 makes general statements about the nature of perception in human beings, hints at how Michele is perceived by others, and hints also that assessment of Michele based upon surface appearance are not accurate (are incomplete). I identified each sentence as being either a general statement, or something that is Michele’s actual experience. That is not to say that the general statements are not born out of her experience, as well. It’s just how they are presented. The sentences are all pretty much evenly weighted. I think that any one of them could be used as a thesis, but I think the strongest thesis statement would come from you beefing up your statements about there being a generally strong reaction to your surface, and add to it that people also are surprised at who the discover inside. You can mention (embellish a little) the concept that you sometimes use your external image as armor, t fend unwanted attention off of your articulate and surprising interior.
As an aside, I was immediately drawn to you in the class, as somebody who is full of strong feelings and as thoughtful. I’m not sure why, for surely there are many other people in our class who are the same. Perhaps it’s because in some sense I have lived with armor on for most of my life as well. (though, honestly, I think that the living with armor thing is something many people do, even people with more conventional appearances.
Paragraph 2
How I look has a lot to with how I am viewed by others, growing up the way I did has a lot to do with my image and I'm sure it speaks for itself.
Michele believes that her appearance does say a great deal about her background.
There are only the few that actually get to know me for who I really am rather than the image and I will admit I don't let people in so easy, if you’rer sincere about getting to know me you have to earn my friendship. Michele states that she is reticent to let people in to see what’s behind the surface “trappings” of her appearance. She states that the appearance that she projects is useful for fending off unwanted attention.
You have to be able to fully get past the image and take into consideration of what that person has possibly been through. Michele has respect for people who can cut through surface appearance. Respect for people who account for appearance as one side of her personality, but, are not drawn into stereotyping or oversimplifying their interpretation of who she is.
You have to be willing to be open to perceive things differently and possibly be able to explore the dark that comes with the light; you to be willing to see both sides to everything.
A general statement that backs up the previous sentence. The general statement being something of a challenge to humanity, to always be looking more deeply than surface appearance. A profound message, that gets at issues of race, culture, lifestyle, religion, etc.
I don't always like reaction I get from people when they pass me by and it does bother me somewhat, but it's something I have to be willing to accexcept to be comfortable in my own skin.
An indication that her appearance is very much a choice, and that it carries with it a responsibility to understand that people have a difficult time with breaking out of their knee-jerk responses to others in general. It is an interesting choice to make; to put yourself in a situation where you consciously draw people out of their shells. More commonly, people try to hide. You’ve chosen to be “out in public”. Not an easy choice to make, nor an easy lifestyle.
This is something that happens way too often, even when people can't put theire thumb on it, they either freak out and turn the other way or stare like I'm some kind of freak!
Begin to describe specific responses that people have to you..
I can admit this something that I would expect and to be honest it is something that I have done intentionally to serve as security blanket.
A statement about an underlying motivation for putting on the shell of appearance as you do. It provides privacy even in public settings.
Yes intimidation can go a long way, at least for someone like me.
A bit more about thye privacy that appearance can provide. That it can be used to drive unwanted attention away.
I think that my image says a lot to people when they generally look at me, why else would they stare? Another specific example of how people respond to your appearance, and some analysis as to the reasons why.
Paragraph 3
The fact that I wear all black generally makes people uncomfortable, for only a few reasons.
Specifics about your appearance (your first statement of this kind)
I'm either considered Gothic or a criminal, which is really hard to swallow because I'm neither.
More about your specific appearance, and more about people’s response to that.
I can think back to when I was that little girl who usually wondered about the kids who were a lot scarier and wore all black, I will admit that I was intrigued but scared at the same time; I have become what I used to fear, I guess that is true for the many people who perceive me the way they do. Some history about the decisions behind developing your appearance. I think that this deserves more development. Perhaps it’s own paragraph. Very interesting stuff here. Everybody works to develop an image. Yours was a more conscious process than most people, and for that reason, very unoique and interesting.
It is a given fact that people are often scared of what they don't understand; and that is the truth.
More about people’s specific response to your appearance. These statement combine will make an excellent paragraph (or two).
Wearing all black has become a big part of my life believe or not, it has given me my own identity and has allowed me to become who I am.Back to history about your decision to dress and adorn yourself as you do. History section?
This does serve a problem in the eye of the public because like I said before I am seen as Gothic or a criminal. Back you your personal experience of people’s responses to you.
Many people are usually scared to talk to me because of the black clothes; kind of ridiculous but what can you do? Same as above. People’s responses to you.
Paragraph 4
My tattoos have given me a sense of my self and haves allowed me to be okay with who I am, but I feel many people also judge me based on my tattoos. Acceptance about what effect your decisions have, mixed with your experience of what people think of you. I think that these two points should be broken apart and put into different sections.
I guess in many ways my tattoos have spoken for them selves. Meaning of your choices for adornment. This is new to the rest of the essay. Perhaps some development about the meaning of the specifics, tattoos, jewelry, clothing. You make specific statements about what they are not but dot say much about what they are (other than the effects that they have both in terms of what they do for you and how they affect other people.
I'm automatically labeled or stereotyped just for having ink embedded in to my skin. Your experience of how people perceive you section.
Of course this is expected from many people who don't like or have tattoos to begin with. A judgement about the people who perceive you. This ois different than anything else that you have said in the rest of your essay.
Instead of being able to be comfortable in my own skin many people take that a way from me. A little more about the ethics of people’s behavior (akin to that previous sentence. Perhaps a brief paragraph on this.
It's really sad because I feel it is the only thing I have to be comfortable in my own my skin. A little more about the meaning behind the way you choose to adorn yourself.
Now to Lauren’s questions:
1. What is the writer’s thesis? Summarize in one sentence.
As I state in my breakdown of paragraph 1, I think that any one of the sentences can serve as a these, but the are two main ones. A general discussion about human nature and perceptions of people, or, you could go with a general statement about the way that people perceive you (which I think is more to the point of Lauren’s question). You develop both in the rest of the essay, so, I thinkl eith will work. You just need one strong statement to make it clear which is your thesis.
2. What evidence is cited to prove and support the writer’s thesis? What pieces of evidence are cited from the readings and/or the writer’s observations to support the thesis? Essay is filled with lots of experiencial evidence. No problem there. I think that you should draw fences around each subject and reform your paragraphs to corral each item. I think you should also develop the reasoning behind your decisions, what is the meaning behind the tattoos? When did you begin to do them? When did you begin to dress in black? What were your thoughts at the time?
3. Is the writer’s reasoning/critical thinking provided to explain how the evidence proves and supports the thesis? Again, lots of evidence, but, without a clear thesis statement, it’s not clear how well you are supporting the theis.
4. Does the writer address counter-claims in the essay? Does the writer effectively refute the counter with evidence and reasoning? No relevant.
5. What else could the writer cite as evidence in this essay? Any discussion with like-minded people? What is common about your experience (with other like minded folks)?
6. What counter-claims still need to be addressed? Do you have evidence of people who immediately don’t look at you with negativity?
That’s it! I hope it wasn’t too much. I’m no better at this than you. In fact, I think that you write more effectively than I. A good essay is easy to critique, because there is plenty of substance to comment upon.